nothing pisses me off more than the fact that 90% of women’s jeans have non-functioning pockets but baby clothes have proper pockets? what are babies carrying around that i’m not? baby wallets? fuck off
So this little kid at church noticed I’m fat and asked me today “Why do you have a big belly?”
I couldn’t really think of an acceptable answer for that so I simply responded:
“Because I’m full of bees”
I don’t think I’ve seen a more confused and terrified child in my life as I walked away, hearing him whisper “Bees…” to himself.
tumblr you can keep your glorified nostalgia about the wild thornberries and tony hawk’s pro skater and getting to hold the flea-ridden stuffed lion during the d.a.r.e program and what have you because THIS right here. now THIS was the essence of the 90s
YOU’LL CALL NOW
oh man it took me literally 2 seconds of this video to remember exactly how the rest of it went
I hated this commercial. Turns out I still hate it.
OH MY GOD THIS DAMN COMMERCIAL
I CAN’T FUCKING STOP LAUGHING its as awful as i remembered it
i cant quite explain this commercial and how it came back to me like
i couldnt remember the exact words by heart but. everything they said chimed in my head like a song i’d heard a long time ago. it was almost rhythmic, buried deep in my memory. it was probably the most bizarre way ive ever remembered something.
"Don’t take a nude pic if you’re a famous woman and don’t want it leaked."
"Don’t wear a hoodie if you don’t want to be mistaken for a criminal and shot."
"Don’t get drunk at a party if you don’t want to be sexually assaulted."
"Don’t argue with a cop if you don’t want to get killed."
"Don’t walk home by yourself if you don’t want to get raped."
Victim blaming 101: Everyone should live in fear from ever doing anything.